School started on Monday of this week, unusually early this year. In past years, it has been closer to “late August.” Not only is it early, but school started on a Monday. Usually, the start day is Thursday, and while that’s kind of hard for a working parent, Monday is worse. Thursday gives the kids two days to get into the classrooms, adjust, and then recuperate over the weekend.
As I’m writing this, it’s Wednesday morning, my kids are already exhausted, and we have three more days of the week to go… We’ve also obtained a high school parking pass (a first, for the recently-minted driver in the house) and are dealing with one school-issued Chromebook that isn’t working.
My youngest started 4th grade. When her older siblings were that age, I read them The Talk by Glennon Doyle (Melton) every year before the start of school. I missed it last year due to my brain surgery, but it has been on my mind to read it to her this year.
And so on Sunday evening, the night before the first day of school, we snuggled in bed together, and I told her that I wanted to read her something. You can read the entirety at this link, but here’s the part that always stands out to me:
We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
As I read the essay aloud, tears rolled down my daughter’s cheeks. I hugged her and told her how much the words ring true. I’ve never cared much about my kids’ grades. I always tell them that as long as they are completing their assignments and trying their best, that’s all I care about.
The schools have various awards for scholastic achievement, and while it’s nice to be recognized, one that stands out to me was awarded to my oldest when they were in first grade. It was for being exceptionally kind to their classmates. I thought, “Ok. I am raising a good human.”
And that’s my whole goal as a parent.
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