Today is a slight detour from my kids’ summer cooking adventures.

Last week was a holiday week, with the 4th of July on Saturday. My two younger kids (Q and A) attend summer camp, but we opt to keep them out of camp the week of the 4th. So the entire week was a lot of Hanging Around the House.

For many years, we have hosted a backyard croquet tournament on the actual 4th of July. But the week was blisteringly hot, and I was starting to get concerned about our event. Our air conditioning unit is old and struggles to keep up on the hottest days. If people were constantly going in and out of the house, there was little chance that indoors would provide a reprieve from the heat.

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Then on Thursday, it started to rain. And it just didn’t stop. The backyard was like a swamp. Our outdoor plans quickly became indoor plans, and I consulted our cabinet of board games to see what would be best for four adults, five teenagers, and two 8-year-olds.

Even with our newly configured plans to spend the 4th inside, our menu stayed the same: burgers and cold veggie pizza.

Long before we started hosting our own croquet tournament, we used to attend one hosted by my aunt and uncle. They lived on the same road where I grew up, and the event had grown over the years. I don’t know the exact number, but I’m guessing about 20 years of croquet tournaments. They were a fixture of my summers as a child, and extended to my summers as an adult, bringing my own kids to play croquet.

The event spanned my aunt’s side of the family (my dad, his siblings, their children) and my uncle’s side. One of my uncle’s sisters always brought cold veggie pizza. I loved it. As a vegetarian, it was exactly what I needed since I passed on the “main food” at the tournament.

It’s super easy to make:

For this iteration, I used broccoli, mushrooms, shredded carrots, green olives, and black olives. But it’s different every time I make it.

I even have this food chopper from Pampered Chef that I bought probably 20 years ago. It makes an appearance only a few times per year, but definitely needed when I make this veggie pizza.

I bought two packages of crescent rolls and made more a few days later. I had some with dinner, but accidentally left the pan out overnight instead of putting it in the fridge. I was devastated when I discovered my error the next morning.

But one of the perks of having a driving teenager is that they can run errands. I sent my 16-year-old to the grocery store to pick up another package of crescent rolls (along with more broccoli and mushrooms, because I’d run out).

As a result, I’m now on my third veggie pizza of the week and will be enjoying it for a few more days.

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A few months ago, my 14-year-old, Q, asked for a standing mixer.

He’d used one in his Foods class in middle school. I’ve never owned one, and my knowledge of them is limited to “the good ones are expensive.” I told him no.

Yesterday, there was a Whole Conversation about the fact that our Ninja air fryer died. It was only two years old, so that was disappointing. But my husband, G, started to opine that he missed having an Instant Pot. We got rid of ours when we bought the air fryer.

I should point out that I use none of these kitchen appliances. G used the air fryer for meat, and I’m a vegetarian. He used the Instant Pot for rice and meat, and we have since gotten a dedicated rice cooker.

The air fryer sits on top of a small cabinet in our kitchen, so the question became: what is the best appliance for this spot? New air fryer? Instant Pot? Or… a standing mixer?

G said that he’d prefer a new Instant Pot over a new air fryer. Even with the fancy rice cooker, he would like the Instant Pot for meat. And the use of a standing mixer was somewhat theoretical.

But, by coincidence, Q received some money as a gift that day. Combined with his saved allowance, he could probably afford a used standing mixer.

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I brought this up with him, and he seemed very excited by the idea. I went on Facebook Marketplace to find one within his budget. A few messages with a seller, a trip to the ATM, and a short trip across town, and we owned a standing mixer.

G went to pick it up. He said the former owner enthusiastically brought him into her kitchen to show him how all of the attachments work. He politely watched.

Meanwhile, I did a lot of rearranging in our kitchen to make room to store the new-to-us standing mixer. It was an entire game of Musical Chairs, Kitchen-Cabinet Style. Clearing out a single cabinet was impossible; it had a domino effect. But I was successful and by the time G got home, I had a space to store the standing mixer when not in use.

Q was so excited that he insisted we make brownies. By the time we were done with dinner and cleanup, it was after 7:00 pm. I looked at my watch and informed him I was too tired. But he told me that he could make brownies without any assistance.

Not only did he want to make brownies, he wanted to make brownies not from a box. We’re big fans of the Trader Joe’s Truffle Brownie Mix, but instead he went to the Stephen Colbert cookbook and found a recipe for brownies. We had all of the ingredients so he got to work.

I admit, the smell of brownies was enough to lure me back to the kitchen later.

Q had also carefully hand-washed the bowls and attachments for his standing mixer and put them away.

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This week, T and Q planned most of the lunches and dinners. They had an Entire Plan on our giant whiteboard.

A few months ago, my husband (G) came to me saying that we should get a giant whiteboard. Like the type that a corporate office might have at the front of the boardroom. My first reaction was why and my second reaction was, “But where on earth would we put it?”

G was pretty insistent that it would be well-used. He’s a software engineer, and T has an interest in coding, so he told me that they could “plan out” various software designs. He found a whiteboard on Facebook Marketplace, basically brand new in box, and brought it home. I begrudgingly moved some stuff around to make room for it (it’s taller than me).

But I have to admit, it’s nearly constantly in use. When G and I went to San Francisco last week, the kids wrote down the week’s activities for my parents, who stayed with them. Sometimes, the kids play games on the whiteboard. Or, like this week, they wrote out their menu plan.

We went grocery shopping last weekend. T and Q mostly navigated Trader Joe’s by themselves, while I walked around with a separate cart getting the rest of the food we need on a weekly basis. They came within $1 of their budget, so that was a win.

Mid-week, T made orange chicken. At this time, I’d like to point out that I am a vegetarian and have been my entire life. I don’t know how to cook chicken... at all. G eats and cooks chicken, and the kids have grown up eating it. But G was working, so T was on their own with the cookbook and the chicken.

It turned out well! I assume. At least, it looks like orange chicken.

T’s response to the orange chicken cooking process was “never again.”

One of the other meals for the week was Sloppy Joe’s, with a plan to familiarize the kids with the slow cooker. Except we have a perpetual problem in this house that food gets eaten “ahead of schedule.” It’s planned for one meal, and someone else eats it with a different meal. Dad had eaten the ground beef for one of his lunches. So we were getting ready for Sloppy Joe’s and... no beef.

We had some leftover chicken, so we quickly pulled out the slow cooker cookbook and went to the “chicken” section. Q selected chicken parmesan. I quickly scanned the list of ingredients, noting that we did not have tomato paste, but had tomato sauce. We did not have Parmesan cheese (probably important for chicken Parmesan...), but had a Mexican blend. So it was more like “chicken with sauce and cheese in a slow cooker” than chicken Parmesan.

We also did not have the requisite 3-4 hours on “low” for the chicken to cook. But I told the kids that 2 hours on high would probably be the same.

We assembled the chicken and sauce. The verdict was that the chicken was a bit dry (which I attribute to cooking it on high) and the sauce was a bit liquid-y. But otherwise good!

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I’m in San Francisco this week, a mere two weeks after my trip to New York. I love to travel, but this was A Lot in a short period of time. The New York trip had been planned for months when my spouse found out that he was being sent to San Francisco for a conference. He asked if I wanted to tag along, to which I replied, “Of course!”

I’ve never been to San Francisco before. And as a rare experience, I’m here without kids and with a spouse who’s in conference sessions all day. Just me, bumming around the city in a combination of Waymos and public transit.

The food here is amazing, as anyone from San Francisco will attest. But this isn’t about what I’ve been eating. It’s about what my kids have been doing back home as they’ve continued with their summer cooking adventures.

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On my first full day here, my 16-year-old sent me a photo of a sandwich, with the description “very boring. grilled turkey, swiss, and avocado.”

However, later that day I got additional photos with the description “homemade Nutella” (the cover photo for this essay). Sounds like Grandma and Grandpa found a way to make the day’s food less boring!

My 14-year-old made homemade pizza, using ingredients from Trader Joe’s (including Toscano Pizza Cheese, yum).

The next day, my mom texted while I was on a boat to Alcatraz Island, asking where I keep my blender. They were going to make smoothies. I had to visualize my kitchen cabinets so I could accurately describe the blender’s location. I have a Ninja that doubles as a food processor, so I store it in a few pieces.

A few minutes later I got this photo, and had to direct my mom to the blade’s location. But once she found it, they were in business.

I didn’t get a photo of the finished product, but I’m told that my 8-year-old made up her own smoothie recipe of blueberries, strawberry yogurt, milk, and ice. The verdict was, “She loved it!”

I’m glad that they’re continuing to try making different foods while I’m not there. Meanwhile, this was my lunch today — a strawberry salad, grilled cheese “bites” and a black forest cupcake.

I’ve also learned how imperative it is to travel with my own food utensils. After long days of walking, I’ve been DoorDashing my dinner to the hotel every night. San Francisco is very environmentally conscious, so I have to request silverware (it’s not a given). And even then, sometimes I don’t get any with my order. Lesson learned: I’ll travel with some reusable silverware in the future.

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On Friday, I arrived home from a 5-day trip to New York. The kitchen was not in shambles. My two teens had done a good job of cleaning up after their cooking adventures.

We were also mostly out of food. But by itself, that’s not abnormal since I’m the one who does grocery shopping and that’s typically a Friday morning or Saturday morning event. So by the end of the week, we’re almost always out of food.

T, my 16-year-old, is in charge of the grocery shopping for the week. Q, my 14-year-old, will be attending a camp this week, so his grocery needs are different. He has to take lunch to camp, so it will be things like sandwiches and fruit (same as my 8-year-old, who also goes to camp).

Due to my fatigue from the trip, I told T that we would go shopping at Trader Joe’s in the afternoon on Saturday (instead of morning). I expected T to make something simple for lunch, and was surprised when they pulled kale out of the fridge. T and Q had planned to make some type of potato soup during the week that involved kale, but the potatoes were accidentally turned into French fries by my husband when he made hamburgers for dinner. It’s a perpetual problem in our house: we buy food for a specific purpose, someone else doesn’t know the purpose, the food gets eaten during another meal.

Anyway, with the extra kale, T announced that they were going to make kale chips. They found some instructions online (not hard: kale, olive oil, salt, oven). I took a nap, and when I came downstairs, the kale chips were mostly gone.

T said that they weren’t seasoned properly, so they will try again with the remaining kale.

T and I then headed to Trader Joe’s. I had my grocery list for the week, and T had their list. I gave T $40 in cash, plus the few remaining dollars from last week’s trip. We had separate carts to make it clear what I was paying for and what came out of the lunch budget.

At one point, T asked if we could get watermelon juice for the week. I said sure, go ahead and put it in your cart. T balked, wanting to put it in my cart (the groceries paid for out of our full grocery budget). I said no, I thought this should come out of the lunch budget, since it wasn’t something I was planning on buying. T sniffed and said, “Fine, then you can’t have any.”

I reminded T that the lunch budget was not “their” money, but rather money that they were responsible for managing for the summer. Typically, I have to spend more on groceries in the summer since the kids are home (and I’m not paying for lunch at school). Same money, just managed by T and Q for the summer. I told T that if they wanted the juice to be fully “theirs,” they could pay for it out of their allowance.

I’d planned to follow up on this point more, but when we got to the checkout, T was short by a few dollars. That felt like enough of a budget lesson for one day. I’ll clarify the whole “family grocery money that you get to manage” on our next trip.

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On Sunday, we did a “trial run” of summer cooking. I was leaving the next day for New York. My two teens had their ingredients and ✨plans✨ for cooking for the week, but I wouldn’t be around to help (and Dad works from home but is in meetings all day).

They wanted to test their ability to navigate the kitchen and prepare a meal on their own. Mind you, they’re not starting from ground zero. Both have cooked before, but minimally and with my help.

Q (the 14-year-old) was in charge of the meal, and he chose homemade mac and cheese. It’s something I’ve made for many years and came from a college cookbook I owned once in my life. Super simple.

The problem? I don’t have an exact recipe. I’ve made it so many times that I just wing it with the amounts. So communicating it to someone else is a bit of a trick. It needs:

Elbow Macaroni noodles
Handfuls of shredded cheddar cheese
A few scoops of either plain yogurt or sour cream
A few tablespoons of butter
A few squirts of Dijon mustard

He set out to boil a large pot of water and asked how much he should make. I’ve never really thought about it - just dumped noodles into the pot based on my assessment of how hungry everyone seems. I told him 2 oz per person. We have a scale in the kitchen for measuring ingredients.

He waited for the water to boil and dumped in the pasta. A few minutes later, he said, “Is the water supposed to be black?” To which I replied, “WHAT?” And he laughed and said, “Just kidding.” Such is life with a teenager.

He managed to drain the big pot of hot pasta with the help of his older sibling while they debated the use of the word “strainer” versus “colander.”

I explained my vibes-based method of adding ingredients and realized that I’m not going to be a great leader during their cooking adventures. (Honestly, I’m a pretty middling cook myself, having barely cooked anything until I was done with college.)

Q noted that the butter wasn’t melting very fast, to which I replied, “Oh yeah, I guess I usually put that in first and cover it with the hot pasta so it cooks faster.” Whoops.

But after a few minutes of stirring, the cheese had melted into the other ingredients and formed a sauce.

The finished product was gone VERY quickly. So, note for the future: when people are hungry, make more than 2 oz. per person.

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Yesterday, I took Q (my 14-year-old) grocery shopping. I let him know on Friday evening that this was The Plan, and that he needed to be ready by 8:00 a.m. I like to get my Saturday grocery shopping done early so I can move on with my day.

At 7:30 a.m., I hadn’t seen any sign of him. It was also only two days after school ended (on Thursday), so I was feeling a bit like Mean Mom to wake him up on the first Sunday of summer. So I kept working at my computer in my office. At 8:02, he appeared at my side, fully dressed. I was still in my pajamas. I told him to give me a few minutes and we would leave. I also promised him Starbucks (he likes the cheese danish).

Our first stop was Target for staples, like dishwasher detergent and toilet paper. Almost all of our food comes from Trader Joe’s, and none of his lunch ingredients were from Target. He asked if he could wait in the car, and I said sure.

On the way to Trader Joe’s, I talked out loud about how I’d manage the lunch budget. I told the kids that I’d give them $40 per week. I use Greenlight to manage their allowance, so at first I thought I’d just transfer money into the account of whichever kid was shopping with me for the week.

But then the logistics started to play out in my head. What if there was a little extra? How would we keep track of adding that to next week’s lunch allowance? Would we be constantly transferring money back and forth between the two teen accounts? After talking through this (out loud, basically to myself), I decided that cash would be easier.

At Trader Joe’s, we got two shopping carts. Me, for everything else we’d need for the week. Him, ingredients specifically tied to their lunch plans.

One of the first things he grabbed was a bag of baby spinach. I said, “That’s totally fine, but I think your recipe said to use frozen spinach. Do you want to use fresh spinach instead?” He replied, “There’s a difference?” I said yes, there’s a difference.

He did some mental math as we navigated the store, keeping track of the items in his cart. He only added the ingredients that were on his list.

When we got to the checkout, I told the checkout woman that he was checking out his own items and paying himself. The total was $35.48. Win! I said he could keep the extra money for next week’s groceries.

On the way home, he asked if he should keep the receipt. I said he didn’t have to, unless he wanted to keep track of how much different food items cost for better planning. He said he wanted to keep the receipt and would find a place to store them.

After we got home and put the groceries away, we found an old wallet that will be the “lunch money wallet” for the summer. Any extra money from the week’s shopping will go in the wallet, and whoever is shopping with me for the week will bring it.

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This summer, both of my teenagers are home most of the day (T — 16 years old and Q — 14 years old).

School ended a few days ago, and I informed both of them that they would be a) making their own summer lunches and b) summer lunches could not be things like “make chicken nuggets in the oven every day.” They’d actually need to plan and cook.

T will be a junior in high school in the fall and realizes that college/being on their own is right around the corner. I left for college barely knowing how to boil water. Cooking was hard for me for years. I want a different experience for my kids.

Both took Family and Consumer Science (FACS), which is similar to home ec, in middle school. So they have some very basic cooking skills. But at home, to date, Dad and I do most of the cooking. They know how to do things like “make pasta” and “put frozen Trader Joe’s food in the oven” but haven’t done much beyond that. Time to learn!

I made a deal with them: I’d give them a budget of $40 per week, which is roughly the equivalent of what I spend on school lunches (rounded up, to make it easy). They needed to work together to plan meals, shop, and prepare food.

Getting started

Yesterday, I made a pile of cookbooks that I thought would have easy(ish) recipes and told them to do some research. I also bought a college cookbook that includes a QR code to video demonstrations.

About an hour later, they’d come up with a plan for the first two weeks of cooking!

I told them that they’d need to compare the recipes to the staples we always have in our fridge/pantry and come up with a list of food they’d need to buy.

I grocery shop every week, so I told them that one of them can come with me with their list. Most of our food comes from Trader Joe’s.

Documenting the process

I happen to be a writer, so as this project began to take shape, my mind started swimming with possibilities.

My kids don’t seem all that interested in documenting their process, but I am. It’s partly my nature as a writer, and partly because I think it would be fun someday to look back at their efforts this summer. I wrote a post on Threads, and it blew up with reactions and comments from people who want me to share updates. So I guess this is now my summer project!

I’ll post updates on Threads, but if you’d like more detailed (and, dare I say, humorous) versions, you can subscribe here to get updates in your inbox.

Thanks for reading!

I share all kinds of tips in my newsletter — entirely separate from this project. You can check out past issues and sign up here.